7. OLD LOVE

 

I USED TO SEE THE WORLD IN YOUR EYES

ALL ITS BEAUTY AND ITS PAIN

AND WE FELT THE SAME

NOW I ONLY SEE THE DARKNESS INSIDE

​

ONLY SORROW REMAINS

AND I DROWN IN THE SHAME

THAT I FEEL BETTER FOR IT

YET I WONDER IF I SHOULD

DISCARD THIS SUCCESS

​

AND SHARE THE PAIN AS PENANCE

​

FOR EVERY WRONG THAT I'VE DONE

IT'S WRONG THAT YOU SUFFER

FOR I WAS YOUR LOVER

IF YOU'RE IN MY HEART 

THEN YOU'RE IN MY VEINS

AND I DIDN'T THINK THAT'D GO AWAY

BUT SOMETHING CUT SO DEEP

AND YOU BLED OUT OF ME

 

AND SHE SAID

"I HOPE YOU DIE

I HOPE YOU ROT

IN A LOVELESS GRAVE

JUST PAIN ALL LOVE FORGOTTEN"

AND SHE SAID

"I HOPE YOU CHOKE"

 

"YOU WILL BEG FOR MY FORGIVENESS

YOU WILL BEG FOR MY SYMPATHY

AND I'LL SAY NO

I'LL SAY NOTHING"

FUCK IT'S SO DAMN HARD...

FUCK IT

 

I WAS THE BLOOD

IN YOUR VEINS

YOU FLOWED THROUGH ME

ONE AND THE SAME

BUT THE KNIFE CUT SO DEEP

AND YOU BLED OUT OF ME

​

AND I DROWN IN THE SHAME

THAT I FEEL BETTER FOR IT

 

FOR EVERY WRONG THAT I'VE DONE

IT'S WRONG THAT YOU SUFFER

FOR I WAS YOUR LOVER

IF YOU'RE IN MY HEART 

THEN YOU'RE IN MY VEINS

AND I DIDN'T THINK THAT'D GO AWAY

BUT SOMETHING CUT SO DEEP

AND YOU BLED OUT OF ME

 

AND YOU BLED OUT OF ME

​

A HOUSE THAT USED TO BE A HOME

NOW STANDS EMPTY

AND THE BODIES THAT GREW WITHIN 

NOW WALK ALONE

 

A HOUSE THAT USED TO BE A HOME

NOW STANDS EMPTY

AND THE BODIES THAT GREW WITHIN 

NOW WALK ALONE

​

AND SHE SAID

"YOU WILL WAKE UP ONE DAY 

AND REALISE THAT EVERYTHING YOU HATED

WAS JUST YOU REFLECTED 

AND ON THAT DISCOVERY

SELF-LOATHING AND MISERY

WILL DROWN YOU UNEQUIVOCALLY"

GO FIGURE

 

From my experience love is the worst/best thing you can ever be lucky enough to share. It never runs out but sometimes it can breed bitterness and spite. People do and say horrible things when they're hurt and then those words are stuck with the other forever. It's fucking hard.

 

8. YOU’RE KILLING IT (DOWNER)

 

[feat. Sam Carter of Architects]

 

AND FORGIVE MY SIN 

BUT THEN I PRAYED 

FOR THE DAY THE RAINS COME

AND WASH YOU AWAY

ALL THE DECEIT

ALL THE ABUSE

ALL THE DISEASE

​

TO CLEANSE THE WOUND

TO END THE CURSE

SO I CAN HEAL

BE FREE OF YOUR DISEASE

​

I PRAY

FOR THE END OF DAYS

FOR THE RAINS TO FALL

FOR THE RAINS TO COME

AND WASH YOU AWAY

​

I KNOW WHY YOUR LIFE IS SO EMPTY

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS IN PAIN

AND FORGIVE MY SIN 

BUT THEN I PRAYED

FOR THE RAINS TO COME

AND WASH YOU AWAY

 

HOW MANY YEARS HAVE I KNOWN YOU?

HOW MUCH TIME HAVE WE SHARED?

HOW MANY LIES HAVE YOU SPILLED INTO THE AIR?

 

AND AFTER ALL THIS TIME 

I'VE SEEN SO MANY LEAVE YOUR SIDE 

YOU WILL NEVER REALISE

YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHY

 

I PRAY

FOR THE END OF DAYS

FOR THE RAINS TO FALL

FOR THE RAINS TO COME

AND WASH YOU AWAY

 

I KNOW WHY YOUR LIFE IS SO EMPTY

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS IN PAIN

AND FORGIVE MY SIN

BUT THEN I PRAYED

FOR THE RAINS TO COME

AND WASH YOU AWAY

 

I KNOW WHY YOUR LIFE IS SO EMPTY

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS IN PAIN

​

I KNOW WHY YOUR LIFE IS SO EMPTY

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS IN PAIN

 

Surround yourself with like-minded people to be the best you can be. Don't accommodate those who drain your time and energy. Their negativity will creep into you and waste you away.

 

9. UGLY DAYS

 

I CAN GIVE AND I CAN RUN

UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT

AND THEN AT MY END WHAT SOLACE WILL APPEAR?

 

WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT? 

BROKEN AND A MESS

CLICHÉ WORDS

BUT FIT MY PROFILE BEST

​

I FEEL SORRY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE WRUNG THESE WORDS

SO THERE'S NO COLOURS LEFT 

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN 

WHEN THE TRUTH COMES CRASHING DOWN

ON YOU

​

I CAN LIVE AND I CAN LOVE

UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT

AND THEN AT MY END I WONDER IF MY SOLACE WILL APPEAR

 

I HATE THIS WORLD THAT I SEE TODAY

BUT I STILL KNOW IT CAN BE BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY

WE ALL HAVE UGLY DAYS

I HATE THIS WORLD THAT I SEE TODAY

BUT I STILL KNOW IT CAN BE BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY

 

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE BESTED?

HAVE YOU LOST?

HAVE YOU FOUGHT AND NOT WON?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE TESTED?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO OVERCOME?

 

I CAN FAKE AND I CAN HATE

UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT

AND THEN AT MY END WHAT SOLACE WILL APPEAR?

 

WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT?

BROKEN AND A MESS

CLICHÉ WORDS

THAT CRUSH MY FUCKING CHEST

I HATE THIS WORLD THAT I SEE TODAY

BUT I STILL KNOW IT CAN BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY

WE ALL HAVE UGLY DAYS

I HATE THIS WORLD THAT I SEE TODAY

BUT I STILL KNOW IT CAN BE BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY

WE ALL HAVE UGLY DAYS

 

Don't focus on the negatives out of your control. Keep your head held high, believe in yourself.

 

10. MOTHER, FATHER

 

MOTHER, FATHER

WHAT HAVE I DONE? 

WHERE IS YOUR QUIET SON?

WHAT HAS HE BECOME?

 

STUCK INSIDE THESE WALLS

STARE THROUGH THE WINDOWS INTO MY SOUL

JUST TELL IT WHERE TO GO

IT'S GOT NO HOPE

IT'S GOT NO HOME

 

I'VE MADE SOME MISTAKES 

AND I'VE BURNT ALL OF YOU

I'VE MADE SOME POOR DECISIONS 

AND I'VE HURT ALL OF YOU

​

I AM I AM I AM

THE SAME INSIDE 

BUT THOSE ACTIONS WILL HAUNT ME

UNTIL I DIE

 

NOT AFRAID TO SAY I LOST MY WAY

WALKED THIS PATH FOR TOO LONG

AM I BETTER OFF?

AM I WORSE?

NO REGRETS JUST SOME SAD FUCKING SONGS

 

I'M AFRAID

I LOST

I AM WORSE

NO REGRET

NO CURE
I ACCEPT THIS CURSE

​

STUCK INSIDE THESE WALLS

STARE THROUGH THE WINDOWS INTO MY SOUL

JUST TELL IT WHERE TO GO

IT'S GOT NO HOPE

IT'S GOT NO HOME

 

I'M AFRAID

I LOST

I AM WORSE

NO REGRET

NO CURE

I ACCEPT THIS CURSE

 

MOTHER, FATHER

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

WHERE IS YOUR QUIET SON?

WHAT HAS HE BECOME? 

​

MOTHER, FATHER

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

WHERE IS YOUR QUIET SON?

WHAT HAS HE BECOME? 

​

MOTHER?

FATHER?

 

We all make mistakes. The only real mistake you can make is not learning and growing from what you have experienced.

 

11. FOR ANYONE WHO HURTS

 

THE SUN IS SHINING

BUT YOUR BLOOD RUNS COLD

THERE IS A CHILL IN YOUR BONES

 

AND YOU WOULD SWEAR

THERE IS A HOLE 

WHERE YOUR HEART IS MEANT TO BE

NOT SURE WHY

BUT YOUR INSIDE

IS HOLLOW AND EMPTY

 

AND YOU'RE THINKING SOME DARK, DARK THOUGHTS

BUT YOU CAN PUSH THEM RIGHT

OUT OF YOUR MIND IF YOU TRY

I SWEAR

 

"TRUST ME"

 

THINGS ARE GONNA BE DIFFERENT

NOTHING WILL STAY THE SAME

IT WILL GET BETTER

AND EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE

SAY SO LONG

SAY FAREWELL

LIVE AND LET DIE

 

IT IS CLICHÉ, BUT

EVERY WORD I TRULY MEAN

THERE IS SO MUCH BEAUTY TO BE SEEN

AND YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL TOO KID

YOU WILL BE LOVED

YOU WILL BE WARM

AND THESE PATHS IN LIFE ARE MEANT TO BE WALKED

​

"BELIEVE ME"

 

THINGS ARE GONNA BE DIFFERENT

NOTHING WILL STAY THE SAME

IT WILL GET BETTER

AND EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE

SAY SO LONG

SAY FAREWELL

LIVE AND LET DIE

 

LIVE AND LET DIE

 

JUST DON'T GIVE UP

JUST DON'T LET GO

I KNOW YOU WON'T

 

JUST SPEND A LITTLE LESS TIME 

CHASING THOSE THOUGHTS IN YOUR MIND

AND JUST LET THEM GO

​

JUST SPEND A LITTLE LESS TIME 

CHASING THOSE THOUGHTS IN YOUR MIND

AND JUST LET THEM GO

​

THINGS ARE GONNA BE DIFFERENT KID

NOTHING WILL STAY THE SAME

IT WILL GET BETTER

AND EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE

​

THINGS ARE GONNA BE DIFFERENT KID

NOTHING WILL STAY THE SAME

IT WILL GET BETTER

AND EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE

​

IT WILL GET BETTER

AND EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE

 

THINGS ARE GONNA BE DIFFERENT KID

AND EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE

 

Depression and anxiety can make the world seem like an unfathomable place. Everyone suffers this in some form. You are not weird or alone. I wrote these words for myself in a particularly hard time. I initially wrote them with such sarcasm as if to laugh at the thought of life ever getting better. Then I re-read them days later, I read them seriously & it helped me grow. If you're in the darkness as I was, I hope these words can help and if you're truly suffering and truly scared don't be afraid to ask for help. This world is an amazing place - you need to see it. You need to live an amazing life, you owe it to yourself. No matter who you are, no matter what you have done, someone somewhere loves you or is waiting to love you. Don't be too scared or too proud to ask for help and if you care about someone make sure you tell them you care for them. Tell them you are there for them if they need you. Sometimes it only takes the smallest gesture to save someone's life.

 

For anyone who is suffering quietly inside themselves, this album is also for you. For those who feel the pressure of the world and their peers burning inside their heads. Cementing them to the ground. Swelling their glands. Beating out of their chest. Please know that millions before you have walked the same path with success. Please understand that a million after will walk through their own fire also, only to be greater for it on the other side. Just like you will be richer for the path you have taken. No pain is too great to close your eyes forever. There are a million lives to be lived outside. For the amount of suffering and tragedy that constantly befalls the world, there is greater beauty and love to be found and explored. You just have to spend a little less time chasing those thoughts in your mind, get outside and just let them go.

​

4. HARD FEELINGS

​

I GUESS THERE’S TOO MUCH OF YOU IN MY VEINS

AND IT'S SLOWLY STARTING TO SHUT ME DOWN

GIVE ME A REASON TO BREATH

GIVE ME A REASON TO THINK CLEARLY

TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T LEAVE

TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T WANDER ENDLESSLY

 

AND IT'S SLOWLY STARTING TO SHUT ME DOWN

​

I’VE BEEN THINKING, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO LONG

AND I'VE BEEN GOING ABOUT THIS ALL TOO WRONG

NEVER KNEW WHAT TO SAY OR WHAT TO DO

TO VOICE THESE THOUGHTS THE BEST TO YOU

WHEN I WAKE UP I FEEL SICK

THERE IS NO END TO THIS

THERE IS NO END

​

I GUESS THERE’S TOO MUCH OF YOU IN MY VEINS

AND IT'S SLOWLY STARTING TO SHUT ME DOWN

GIVE ME A REASON TO BREATHE

GIVE ME A REASON TO THINK CLEARLY

TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T LEAVE 

TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T WANDER ENDLESSLY

 

NOTHING WORTH KEEPING COMES THAT EASY

THIS PAIN

THIS WORLD

WON'T DEFEAT ME

 

NEVER KNEW WHAT TO SAY OR WHAT TO DO

TO VOICE THESE THOUGHTS THE BEST TO YOU

WHEN I WAKE UP I FEEL SICK

THERE IS NO END TO THIS

NO

​

I GUESS THERE’S TOO MUCH OF YOU IN MY VEINS

AND IT'S SLOWLY STARTING TO SHUT ME DOWN

GIVE ME A REASON TO BREATHE

GIVE ME A REASON TO THINK CLEARLY

TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T LEAVE 

TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T WANDER ENDLESSLY

​

WHEN I WAKE I FEEL SICK

THERE IS NO END TO THIS

WHEN I WAKE I FEEL SICK

THERE IS NO END TO THIS

​

I GUESS THERE’S TOO MUCH OF YOU IN MY VEINS

AND IT'S SLOWLY STARTING TO SHUT ME DOWN

GIVE ME A REASON TO BREATHE

GIVE ME A REASON TO THINK CLEARLY

TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T LEAVE 

TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T WANDER ENDLESSLY

​

​

5. WANDERLUST

​

[feat. Andrew Neufeld of Comeback Kid]

 

I'M STARING AT THE SUN

SCREAMING OUT MY LUNGS

I'VE SANG A HUNDRED WORDS

TO CHASE A HUNDRED PROBLEMS

RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND

 

I'M STARING AT THE SUN

SCREAMING OUT MY LUNGS

I'VE SANG A HUNDRED WORDS

TO CHASE A HUNDRED PROBLEMS

RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND

​

I'VE GOT SO MUCH TROUBLE ON MY MIND

I CAN'T DESCRIBE

NO WORDS TO HIDE THE PAIN BEHIND MY EYES

 

SO WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

 

GIVE ME HEAVEN

GIVE ME HELL

GIVE ME AN ANSWER

ARE WE LOST? 

LOST

WANDERLUST

LUST

STILL SEARCHING ALL THESE YEARS GONE BY

AND STILL NO END IN SIGHT

​

I'M STILL STARING AT THE SUN

SCREAMING OUT MY LUNGS

I’VE SANG A HUNDRED WORDS

TO CHASE A HUNDRED PROBLEMS

RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND

​

I'M STARING AT THE SUN

SCREAMING OUT MY LUNGS

I'VE SANG A HUNDRED WORDS

TO CHASE A HUNDRED PROBLEMS

RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND

 

WHEN DID THE COMPASS BREAK?

WHEN DID WE LOSE OUR WAY?

 

GIVE ME HEAVEN

GIVE ME HELL

GIVE ME AN ANSWER

ARE WE LOST?

LOST

WANDERLUST

LUST

STILL SEARCHING ALL THESE YEARS GONE BY

AND STILL NO END IN SIGHT

 

I'M STILL STARING AT THE SUN

SCREAMING OUT MY LUNGS

I’VE SANG A HUNDRED WORDS

TO CHASE A HUNDRED PROBLEMS

RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND

​

I'M STARING AT THE SUN

SCREAMING OUT MY LUNGS

I'VE SANG A HUNDRED WORDS

TO CHASE A HUNDRED PROBLEMS

RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND

 

I SWEAR 

WITH MYSELF AS MY WITNESS

THAT I

I'LL GET THROUGH ANYTHING

I CAN GET THROUGH THIS

 

I SWEAR 

WITH MYSELF AS MY WITNESS

THAT... 

 

I'M STILL STARING AT THE SUN

SCREAMING OUT MY LUNGS

I’VE SANG A HUNDRED WORDS

TO CHASE A HUNDRED PROBLEMS

RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND

​

I'M STARING AT THE SUN

SCREAMING OUT MY LUNGS

I’VE SANG A HUNDRED WORDS

TO CHASE A HUNDRED PROBLEMS

RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND

 

I discovered hardcore, hip hop and punk music when I was about twelve years old courtesy of older siblings. At the time of writing this I am twenty-nine years old. That's almost twenty years later I'm still coming back to this music to escape. To help me heal. To hype me up. To put me to sleep. To wake me up. To connect. To disconnect. To reminisce and to daydream of what could be.

​
 

6. DOGS BLOOD

 

[feat. JJ Peters of Deez Nuts]

 

SO, SO SICK OF THE SAME THING

SOMEONE WAKE ME UP 

GET ME OUT OF THIS DREAM

SO, SO SICK OF A LIFE ON REPEAT 

BROKEN RECORD STILL SPINNING THE SAME BEAT

 

STILL DYING

STILL LYING

THROUGH YOUR TEETH

I STILL SEE DISEASE

IN YOUR EYES

IN THESE STREETS 

EVERY HOUR

EVERY DAY

EVERY WEEK

LOOK AT ME

​

I STILL REMEMBER EVERYTHING

​

AND I HOPE YOU WALK THE EARTH ALONE

AND I HOPE YOU CARRY THE WEIGHT

OF EVERY LIE YOU SPUN

OF EVERY STRAW YOU PLACED

THAT BROKE A BACK

I HOPE YOUR DOG BLOOD ROTS YOU

FROM THE INSIDE OUT

​

GET THOSE MIDDLES FINGERS UP CAUSE

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

FUCK THE COPS

FUCK AUTHORITY

AND FUCK THE SYSTEM

AND FUCK YOU TOO IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH THEM

NOW WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON? 

IF YOU'RE NOT ON MINE

YOU'RE JUST A NARK

JUST A SNITCH

JUST A BITCH

DON'T PRETEND WE ARE ONE AND THE SAME

​

AND I'M SO SICK OF THE SAME SHIT

ON REPEAT LIKE IT'S GROUNDHOG DAY

THERE'S ALWAYS HELL TO PAY 

AND WE ARE ALL JUST DIE IN THE END

LIFE'S SHORT

DOWN FOR ANYTHING

FUCK A FAKE FRIEND

​

I STILL SEE DISEASE

IN YOUR EYES

IN THESE STREETS 

EVERY HOUR

EVERY DAY

EVERY WEEK

​

I STILL REMEMBER EVERYTHING

​

AND I HOPE YOU WALK THE EARTH ALONE

AND I HOPE YOU CARRY THE WEIGHT

OF EVERY LIE YOU SPUN

OF EVERY STRAW YOU PLACED

THAT BROKE A BACK

I HOPE YOUR DOG BLOOD ROTS YOU

FROM THE INSIDE OUT

 

GET THOSE MIDDLES FINGERS UP CAUSE

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

FUCK THE COPS

FUCK AUTHORITY

AND FUCK THE SYSTEM

AND FUCK YOU TOO IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH THEM

NOW WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON? 

IF YOU'RE NOT ON MINE

YOU'RE JUST A NARK

JUST A SNITCH

JUST A BITCH

DON'T PRETEND WE ARE ONE AND THE SAME

​

SO NOW THE LINE’S BEEN DRAWN IN THE SAND

YOU BETTER FUCKING KNOW ON WHICH SIDE THAT YOU STAND

AND IF THERE'S A SINGLE DOUBT IN YOUR WEAK FUCKING MIND

BET THAT WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU AIN'T ONE OF OUR KIND

THE LIFE WE LIVE AIN'T FOR THE FAINT HEART YOU SEE

SO DO YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE YOU TRY AND WALK THIS LINE

THIS IS FOR REAL WE AIN'T PLAYING NO GAMES

YOU’RE FUCKING LAME

WE AIN'T ONE AND THE SAME BITCH

 

I'm a dreamer, I've always been. Some would say the things I believe aren't realistic or obtainable. I've always wished for a just future where those in power strive to preserve the environment, sustain all forms of life and most importantly care for the people. People over profit should be an unquestionable trait in every politician. But sadly we live in a world corrupted by money and status. We destroy beautiful things to create and consume products that are both toxic to ourselves and to the places we live. I would liken these practices of the human race to a disease, a cancer eating away at the world until we eventually kill it. At the time of writing this song there have been countless acts of police violence against unarmed surrendering civilians on the news. These law enforcers are meant to serve and protect the public. They are there to make it as safe as possible. Not to shoot to kill someone who steals two cans of soda. There is no outcry from other policemen condemning their peers' actions, there is no scream for change with how they are educated in serving the public. This song is about endeavouring to being a conscious consumer. Living a just life in all regards. Having fun with your friends, doing what you love and not disrespecting those along your path who don't deserve it because if you can't change your own habits then how can you expect anyone else to. It's also a fuck you to those that don't.

​

​